


Adventures In Couch Crashing

by Ellison1215



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham (TV), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 13:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12959871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellison1215/pseuds/Ellison1215
Summary: After a fight with Bruce, Selina decides to head to Metropolis to cool off. And who has a better couch to crash on, than Lois Lane?





	Adventures In Couch Crashing

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this, I always like imagining DC characters interacting in a fun way. I wrote this with Bruce and Selina from Gotham in mind, cause they're my favorite, but it can apply to any version.

It was the sound of a crash that rattled Lois from her sleep. She leapt into a sitting position on her bed and looked around her bedroom. After officially deciding that she was so tired that she starting to imagine things, she laid back down. She closed her eyes for barely a minute before she heard another sound.

“Ok, I am definitely not imagining that,” Lois said to herself as she got out of bed.

As the sounds became louder and more frequent, Lois really wished Clark wasn't out of town on a work assignment. When she heard an especially loud noise come from the other room, she decided it was time to take action.

She reached under her bed to grab the bat some baseball player she was interviewing gifted her. Clark was convinced he was trying to flirt with her; she wasn’t sure if that was true or not, but she sure did like seeing the hint of jealousy in Clark’s eyes.

With her bat in tow, she left her bedroom to find the source of the noise. As she entered her living room she saw no signs of an intruder but did notice a light coming from her kitchen.

As she crept into the kitchen she saw that the light was coming from the refrigerator. When she squinted she could see that there was a figure rifling through it. What kind of burglar goes through another person’s fridge?! Rude!

After getting over the initial shock, Lois brought the bat firmly over her shoulder. “Hey! I’ve got a bat and I’m not afraid to use it!”

The intruder, whose face was obscured by the fridge door, laughed. Hard

Lois raised an eyebrow. Not only because the thief had the nerve to laugh at her, but also, because it didn’t sound like the laugh belonged to the burly, scary man she had pictured. It sounded lighter, more feminine. It was familiar, it almost sounded like-

“Seriously Lois,” Selina lifted her head from the fridge, revealing her face. “You think somebody’s robbing you and that’s your plan of attack?”

Lois stood there, a million questions running through her head. “What was wrong with my plan?”. Out of all the questions she had, she had no idea why that was the first one she asked.

“Well for starters, when you think someone’s breaking into your house you probably shouldn’t announce that you’re gonna hit them with a bat.”

Lois rolled her eyes

“Nice outfit, kind of cliché though, don't you think?” Selina said, looking at Lois in her nightgown.

Lois’ face flushed. “What are you doing here Selina?”

“Currently? Looking for something to eat. You literally have nothing” Selina closed the refrigerator door. “Is the pay at the Daily Planet that bad?”

“I mean what are you doing here… in my apartment ... in the middle of the night.”

Selina sighed “Because the asshole pissed me off”

At first, Lois had no idea who she was talking about. Then she remembered who Selina's boyfriend was. “Bruce?”

Selina nodded. “Yeah. That jackass.” She muttered as she looked moved from her fridge to her cabinets.

“What happened?”

“I don't want to talk about it,” Selina said as she found a half open bag of potato chips.

“Sometimes talking helps.”

“Not for me.”

“Yeah, but-”

“Look, Lois, I just don't want to talk about it. So, can you just drop it?!”

“Alright, I get it,” Lois put her hands up in defense. Clearly, this was a sensitive topic.

At the look on her face, Selina felt guilt immediately. “Look I’m sorry I snapped at you. That wasn’t cool.”

Lois nodded. “It’s okay.”

“Besides, you’re a journalist, it's natural for you to have questions. Asking you not ask questions is like someone asking me not to steal.”

Lois arched an eyebrow “Is that why you and Bruce are mad at each other? Over stealing?”

Selina fixed her with a look. “Lois”

“Sorry, sorry. Journalist curiosity” she defended. “But you still haven't told me why you're here exactly?”

“I just need a place to crash for a few days, so I can cool off. Is that cool?”

“Umm, sure. But are you sure you want to stay in Metropolis?”

“Yeah. Why not?”

“Because you hate Metropolis”

“I’ve never said that”

“Yes, you have, several times! Once you even said, and I quote, ‘I can't wait to get back to Gotham, I hate it here.’”

Selina rolled her eyes. “Look I just need a place where the dork knight won't find me. If I went back to my place I know he'll be there waiting for me and I’m just not ready for that yet”

“Okay, but all I have is the couch.”

Selina shrugged. “I’ve slept in worse places.” She crumbled up the now empty bag of chips and tossed it in the trash before walking to the living room. Lois followed.

Selina cringed when she sat on the couch. “Maybe I spoke too soon. Seriously Lois, is the pay that bad that you can’t you afford a decent couch?”

Lois rolled her eyes and went to get her hallway closet. When she came back with a stack of blankets, she found Selina was already fast asleep.

_It’s 1:00 AM and an ex-thief is sleeping on my couch. How the hell did this happen? _Lois thought to herself.__

“She’ll probably be gone by the morning.” She said to herself as she made her way back to bed.

She was wrong.

The next morning, over a plate of eggs and bacon, which Selina insisted Lois get from the supermarket down the street, Lois asked Selina how long she planned on staying.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess as soon as I’m ready to see his stupid, judgmental face again.” She said the last part angrily as she stabbed some scrambled eggs onto her fork.

“Well, when do you think that will be?”

She shrugged again. “Why? Do you want me to leave? Cause I can go-”

“No! That’s not it. I was just wondering, that’s all” Lois didn’t want to kick her out. She was starting to feel like a friendship was forming between her and Selina and she didn't want to jeopardize that.

“You can stay as long as you want. My house is your house.”

“Thanks,” Selina said before returning to her plate.

This won’t be so bad. Lois thought as she sipped her coffee. It’ll be like we’re sisters or college roommates. This will be so much fun.

* * *

Again, she was wrong.

Selina had been there a week, but it felt like a decade. Lois had already had admiration for Bruce given his dedication to protecting Gotham. But after a week with Selina, she had a newfound respect for the man who had to deal with her habits.

First, she barely cleans up after herself. Lois couldn’t count the number of times she had to close an opened cabinet door, clean up something that was spilled, or tripped over one of Selina’s clothes that were thrown on the floor.

Then, it was the fact that Selina was using up all her utilities. From using all the hot water to eating anything that wasn't nailed down, it was really getting annoying. Especially when they ran out of toilet paper and Selina forgot to put a new roll on.

Finally, it was the cat. Lois came home from work one day to find Selina on the couch with a calico kitten on her lap.

“What the-”

“I can explain,” Selina said putting the kitten down. “I found this cat in the alleyway and I thought she needed a home.”

“Go on.” Lois urged.

“Umm, that's it”

“Selina- wait, what's that smell?”

She shrugged. “She's a kitten. She hasn't been litter box trained yet.”

Lois groaned, before getting out her phone to look up _‘How to get rid of the smell of cat urine'_

* * *

"Are you okay?”

Lois was currently at her desk, working on a big story when she heard the voice.

She looked up to find Clark leaning against her desk with concern in his eyes

“I’m fine,” Lois said her tone automatic and clipped.

“Are you sure about that? You look like you’re two seconds away from having a nervous breakdown”

“I said ‘I’m fine!’”

Lois regretted her outburst as soon as it happened, especially when she saw Clark’s hurt face.

“I’m sorry,” Lois said. “It’s just-”

“Selina?”

She nodded her head. “How’d you know?”

Clark shrugged his broad shoulders. “You’ve been talking about her all week.”

She sighed. “She's not trying to be annoying, she's just-”

“Super stubborn?”

“Exactly! I can tell she misses him. She's just too prideful to go talk to him. It's ridiculous.”

“I can relate.”

She arched an eyebrow. “How so?”

“Bruce is the same way. It's almost unbearable.”

“Really? How bad is he?”

“You know how he’s always sulking and brooding, even on a good day?”

“Yeah”

“Well, when he's in a fight with Selina, he's like that times ten.”

“Yikes.”

“Yeah, it's only cause he misses her. But of course, he'll never admit it.”

Lois laughed. “Our friends suck at relationships.”

Clark laughed too. “At least with the communication part.”

An idea flashed in her mind and Clark could see it behind her eyes. “What are you thinking of?”

“You said Bruce and Selina don't communicate,” Lois stated.

“Yeah, so?”

“What if we forced them too?”

Clark smiled. “Whatever you're planning, I'm in.”

* * *

The next day Lois stood outside her apartment, anxious. This could either go very well or very wrong. She texted Clark.

_**I’m nervous.** _

He texted back immediately.

_**Don’t be. Everything will be fine. He’s five minutes away.** _

Lois took a deep breath before opening the door. Selina was on the couch watching a soap opera.

When Lois came in, Selina turned to her. “Hey, are you okay? You look like you saw a ghost.”

She took a deep breath before speaking. “I think it’s time you talked to Bruce.”

Selina groaned. “Not this again. Lois, I told you I don’t-”

“I know, you say you don’t want to see him, but I don’t think that’s the truth.”

“Excuse me?” Selina stood up and faced Lois.

“You miss him. It’s obvious to both me and you that you want nothing more than to just go back Gotham and be with him, but your pride is in the way.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Then what is it?”

Selina sighed. “Do you remember the first night I came here?”

“How could I forget?”

“Well, earlier that night, Bruce and I were having dinner. It was going great, until he noticed that the bracelet I was wearing, was almost identical to the one some rich heiress lost at a gala a few weeks ago.”

“You stole it” Lois concluded.

“In my defense, she was flirting with Bruce right in front of me. Besides she was a total airhead, so she kind of had it coming.”

“So, let me get this straight. Some heiress flirts with Bruce, you get jealous, you steal her bracelet and when he finds out, you guys get into a big argument?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Sounds pretty simple to me.”

“Look, It’s not about the stupid bracelet okay? It’s about the way he looked at me.” Selina snapped.

Lois arched an eyebrow “The way he looked at you?”

Selina let out a huff. “When he found out about the bracelet, he looked at me like I was just like the rest of the scum in Gotham.” Her eyes stared at the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Lois had never seen her look like this “Selina…”

“Look, I'll get out your hair. I know I can be a bit of a handful.”

If Lois felt bad before, she felt terrible now. “Selina, I’m not kicking you out. I just think you should talk to Bruce, he cares about you.”

Selina scoffed. “He doesn’t want to see me.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Lois, he’s the world’s greatest detective, he knows I’m here. Besides, Clark probably called him the minute you told him I was crashing on your couch. But he hasn’t even tried to reach out to me.”

The somber way she said the last sentence caught Lois’ attention. “But I thought that’s what you wanted. You came to Metropolis because you-” she stopped short.

Now it all made sense. Like the dots connecting or the puzzle pieces finally coming together. He’s Batman, she’s Catwoman, the chase was one of the biggest aspects of their relationship.

“You wanted him to come after you.” She concluded

Selina sighed. “I thought that if he came looking for me, it would prove that I was wrong, maybe he didn’t think I was like the rest of Gotham’s lowlifes. The way he looked at me was the same crappy look everybody in my life has given me. Like I'm nothing more than street trash.”

The look on Selina’s face made Lois feel terrible. She was trying to get Selina to open up, not make her feel horrible about herself. She had to fix this. “Selina, I doubt Bruce sees you like that.”

“I don't see you like that.” Came a different, more masculine voice.

Both Lois and Selina turned their heads to find Bruce standing in the doorway. “Sorry for not knocking, but the door was unlocked.” He kind of looked uncomfortable, his hands in his pockets.

“Bruce, how long have you been there?” Lois asked

“Long enough.” He moved from the doorway and stepped fully into her apartment. His eyes were on Selina and his voice seemed distracted.

Phase 1 complete, now onto phase 2. Which meant Lois had to get out of here. “I’m going to leave you two alone.”

They barely acknowledged her, or her words as she left. It wasn’t until they heard the sound of the door clicking shut behind Lois, that he spoke. “I don’t think you’re street trash or a lowlife, Selina. I never have, and I never will.”

“It doesn’t even matter anymore. I’m over it.” She knew that was a lie the instant it came out her mouth. So did he.

“Then why’d you run away?”

“I’m not running from anything.” She said indignantly

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“Whatever, I don’t need this.” Selina brushed past him to the door. When she tried to open it, she realized the knob wouldn’t turn.

“The door is locked.”

Bruce arched an eyebrow and came up beside her. When the knob refused to move for him, his eyebrows furrowed even more. “It’s locked.”

“I literally just said that.”

“I guess I wasn’t listening to what you had to say. Now you know how I feel.” He shot back

“You know what, you arrogant-” Before Selina could finish what she was saying, a piece of paper slid from underneath the door.

Bruce picked up the note and read it.

_Dear Bruce and Selina,_

_We are SICK of the two of you fighting. We care about you guys,_  
_and we know that you two care about each other._  
_That’s why we have locked you two in here and are not going_  
_to let you out until you two learn to COMMUNICATE,_  
_however long that might take._  
_Love,_  
_Lois and Clark_

“They can’t be serious.” Selina said when Bruce finished reading.

“We are,” came Clark’s voice from behind the door.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Selina groaned. She went toward the window to find them melted shut, unable to be opened. “Clark and his damn laser eyes.”

From the other side room, Bruce let out a laugh. Selina turned to him. “What the hell is so funny?”

“That our friends had to resort to locking us in a room to get us to talk to each other.”

Selina groaned. “Why did you even come here?”

“Clark told me he had a lead on a case back in Gotham. Which I'm assuming was a lie.” Bruce said the last part a little louder, so Clark could hear past the door.

“Yep!” Clark replied cheerfully.

Selina rolled her eyes. “Nice going Bruce.”

Bruce's head turned towards her. “Are you trying to blame me for this?”

“I’m just saying, you're supposed to be this great detective, but you easily fell for a lie from farmer boy.”

“I hate it when she calls me that,” Clark whispered to Lois from behind the door.

Lois hushed him and placed her ear against the door to hear what was being said.

“You know,” Bruce walked closer to Selina. “We wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for you running away over a little disagreement.”

“Little disagreement? You were the one who said, ‘me stealing makes me a bad person’”

“I did not say that! I said, 'stealing is an unbecoming quality of someone who is trying to be a law-abiding citizen'”

“Same thing”

“Wow. They really don't know how to communicate.” Lois said

Clark was the one who hushed her this time.

Bruce sighed “Look, I apologize for hurting your feelings, that wasn't my intent. I know I can come across a little holier than thou. Do you accept my apology?”

“I guess.” She was playing it casual but the smile on her gave her away.

“Don't you want to apologize for your actions?” At his question, the smile instantly slipped off her face.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry I stole-”

“This isn't about the bracelet.”

Selina arched an eyebrow. “It's not?”

“Don't get me wrong, I still don't approve of you stealing it, but,” his head turned down towards his shoes before meeting her eyes again. “I thought we were giving this healthy relationship thing a try? The last I checked, healthy relationships don't feature one half of the couple skipping town because of an argument.”

For possibly the first time ever, Bruce saw Selina actually look guilty. “I was the under the impression you liked chasing me.”

He moved even closer towards her. “I do, but only when I think you want me to.”

They were now inches apart, and Selina would be lying if she said it wasn't great to be this close to him again. “Why would you think I didn't want you to?”

“You’re going to laugh.”

“Probably, but I laugh at almost everything you do.”

Bruce rolled his eyes, but she could see a small smile in his face. “I asked Lucius for advice. He said, that since you were in Metropolis, I should probably give you your space.”

Selina couldn't help but laugh. “You seriously went to Lucius, your tech guy, for relationship advice?”

He shrugged. “I didn't know what's else to do, I’m still getting the hang of this ‘couple’ thing. I probably should've followed my first instinct.”

“Which was?”

“To come find you the minute I knew you were gone.”

Again, Selina couldn't fight the small smile that came across her face. It then slipped as a question came to her mind. “Why didn't you?”

“I wanted to, several times, but the past week hasn't really been good for me.”

Selina arched an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Bruce sighed. “Well first, The Joker, Scarecrow, The Riddler, and Killer Croc all broke out of Arkham. Then the Batmobile got a ticket because even though you’re saving thousands of lives, you’re still not allowed to park in front of a fire hydrant. And on top of all that Alfred’s mad at me.”

“Why?”

“Because of my fight with you. He thinks I’m being too stubborn and that I should just apologize. He’s been giving me the cold shoulder all week.”

Selina laughed. “That's hilarious”

Bruce rolled his eyes. “Of course you’d think so. This week has been complete hell.” He paused before speaking again. “But I’ll admit, it probably would have been more tolerable if you were there.”

Selina smiled. She knew that was as closed to an ‘I missed you’ as you were going to get from him. She couldn’t resist the urge to tease him though.

“So, what you’re saying is, your life sucks without me in it?”

Bruce rolled his eyes again but couldn’t resist a small smile forming on his face. “I didn’t say that.”

“It was implied. You basically said your life is incomplete without me in it.”

“Stop putting words in my mouth.”

“I’m just saying, you had a totally crappy week, all because I wasn’t - “

Her words were cut off by the soft press of his lips. Something he learned a long time ago was the most effective way of shutting her up. His arms wrapped around her waist pulling her closer. One of her hands went to his shoulder while the other ran fingers through his soft hair.

After a few moments, they parted for air but stayed close.

“I’m not gonna lie,” he barely sounded winded. “That did make this week a lot better.”

She smiled as she felt his forehead press gently against hers.

“Come home, Selina” He breathed. The way he was looking and talking to her was so distracting. “I want you home.”

“I want to come home too.” She barely had the words out her mouth before he kissed her again.

When they parted this time, she laughed a little.

He raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Did the Batmobile really get a ticket?”

“Yeah. That's $50 bucks I won't get back.”

“Aww, the poor billionaire.” She mocked

“Shut up.” which she did when he kissed her again

From the now opened doorway, Clark and Lois watched the couple, who were too busy kissing to notice them.

“They really are a cute couple,” Lois said. “You know, when they aren't being annoyingly stubborn and hard-headed.”

“How long you think until their next fight?” Clark asked

“I give it a week. “Lois laughed. “But hopefully they’ll communicate through it, instead of crashing on my couch.”

“They really are lucky to have friends like us.”

“That's real humble talk, ‘farmer boy’” Lois mocked.

“Shut up.” Clark grinned before quieting her with a kiss.

* * *

**A few weeks later ******

A loud banging sound woke Selina up from her deep sleep. She glanced at Bruce whose arms were wrapped around her as he slept. Another loud banging sound came from down the stair.

Ugh. Where’s Alfred when you need him? Selina thought, as she reluctantly removed herself from Bruce’s arms and made her way downstairs.

The banging sound only increased as Selina made her way towards the door. “Alright, keep your pant on, damn.” She opened the door furious, wanting to know who the hell was waking her up in the middle of the night.

“Lois?” Selina said confused, as she stared at her friend in the doorway, holding a duffel bag.

“Hey Selina, nice outfit,” Lois commented

Selina looked down at herself. She was wearing a pair of Bruce’s oversized pajama pants and a kitty cat shirt Bruce bought her for Christmas. It was kind of cheesy but super comfortable, so whatever.

Selina crossed her arms to cover the image of the kittens playing with yarn on her shirt, her cheeks slightly pink. “Lois, what are you doing here?”

“Superman is being a super ass.” She said brushing past Selina and entering the foyer. “I just need a place to cool off.”

Before Selina could respond she heard the sound of feet coming down the stairs.

“Selina, what’s going on?” Bruce asked, appearing at the bottom of the steps. He was wearing a T-shirt with pajama pants and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Hey Bruce, take this off my hands would you.” She shoved her bag into his arms. “By the way, it’s nice to know that the Dark Knight wears PJs.”

Before he had the chance to respond, Lois was already walking towards the kitchen. “Did Alfred make anything? I’m starving.”

Bruce stood there, holding Lois’ bag a puzzled look on his face. “Why on earth is Lois Lane in our kitchen?” Bruce asked.

Selina had to admit, the confused look on his face mixed with his messy hair from sleep, was a cute look. It was nice to see the World’s Greatest Detective look so perplexed.

“Let’s just say, karma’s a bitch.” Selina said walking next to him.

“I’m still so confused.” Bruce said.

Selina laughed before kissing Bruce on the cheek.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed, if you have any suggestions for a story let me know , I think it'd be cool to write one of your ideas.


End file.
